This may be the most humiliating post I ever write.
But I feel we have known each other long enough and I can tell you the truth. After all, most of you are mothers and therefore have once been pregnant (or are) and can deal with this sad reality of pregnancy.
I am peeing my pants.
Not totally peeing, it's not like I just stop and go where ever I may be. But you know, the odd dribble when I laugh really hard or cough. I fear that it may become a situation where I need to purchase Depends.
This really pisses me off. Let me tell you why. I do those Kegels like there is no tomorrow. In fact, it is the only part of my body that gets any regular exercise. So they should be strong and in fact, used to be very strong. I could tell you how strong, but then you might think I am a pervert. What has happened?
I just don't know. This is the first time this has happened during a pregnancy, and the third time in my life it has happened at all. It has all been within the last 2 years and a bit actually.
The first time it happened was a year before I had Saoirse. I was so sick all I could do was lay on the couch. My mother had to come over every night to make my kids dinner. I only got up to go to the bathroom and honestly, I don't know why I even bothered, because everytime I coughed (which was every 30 seconds) a little bit of pee would come out. It was so bad I had soaker pads stolen from the hospital under me, where ever I was. The second time was also when I was sick, after the arrival of Saoirse, It was nowhere near as bad as the first time, just the odd dribble when I had a particularly bad coughing fit.
And now it's now. I am pregnant, I am wetting myself. Is it not bad enough that I use the toilet every hour? Do I really need that final humiliation of feeling as though I am in the process of being toilet trained? Did I really need to write about it?