Monday, June 12, 2006

32 down, 8 to go

Sometimes it feels this pregnancy has flown by and at others I feel as though I have been pregnant for years. I wish I had been a blogger when I was pregnant with Saoirse or at least kept a journal. I did write her a handful of letters so if I pull those out I might get an idea of how I was feeling.

Because right now I feel like I am in the midst of the worst pregnancy ever! And I know that this is so not true, I read blogs about mums on bedrest and miscarriages and early arrivals so in reality I know that this baby and I are doing great. It's just that when you're lying in bed at night and you can't find a comfortable position you feel absolutely miserable and totally sorry for yourself. At least I do. Last night I was on my hands and knees (and there was no sex involved whatsoever!) because I couldn't have any part of my stomach touching the bed, for some reason it hurt like crazy, and I was just wishing for it to be over. Last night I would have gladly had a 32 weeker, this morning I am grateful that she is safe inside me.

I was talking to my friend Shelley last night, she has been on nights the since Thursday so I've not talked to her at all, but on Friday she had a brief conversation with William who had told her I had had a bad week, lots of back pain and the start of Braxton Hicks contractions. I only ever had them with Saoirse, and they were nothing compared to this one, where they seem to come and go all day. Anyway, Shelley said to me "Do not have this baby early, we have no room at all." Apparently, every NICU in the region is full, they are flying babies to Saskatchewan. I asked if the mother goes with them and she said no, if you've had a section you can't fly out. Imagine've got a brand new baby, who is 6 or 7 weeks early and you cannot be with them. I would fall apart I think. No, I definitely would.

So although I bitch and complain and all you poor souls out in bloggerland have to read about it, I am glad that other than pain and discomfort all is well! Except I would really prefer not to pee 4 times in one hour. That'd be nice.

In other news, I applied for my EI benefits on Friday. It takes a month so at least I'll be finding out how much I get before the baby's arrival and we can adjust our (my) spending habits accordingly. I foolishly put in that I had had small weeks (where I earned greater than 0 but less than $225) and they ask for proof of it. For fecks sakes! If youknow me, you know that I do not keep all my paystubs, I'd be lucky to find a quarter of them. I think they affect me negatively so I am going to take a quick look around and if I find none I will call and say so. The gal said it shouldn't be too big a deal, but I do need to let them know either way so my form can be processed. I'm not expecting much as I only had 800 hours, maybe $200-250 biweekly. That's my four household bills per month so if I get that I will be pleased. Any extra is just a bonus.


Boliath said...

Aw sweetie, you sound fed up...I knwo other people have tough pregnancies but this is yours and even tho some people have it worse they probably don't have 3 other kids to chase around or worry about so if you feel you need to bitch and vent, do so, you are entitled!

Hoping said...

Can't imagine how you feel right must be SO uncomfortable! It does not bother me one bit that you bitch....because you will have to listen to me bitch someday too. I know you are grateful but I also know that pregnancy can be some what of a bitch :)

Hooray on the benefits!

Chas said...

Just feel blessed that you live in Canada and get SOMETHING for maternity pay. I get exactly zero dollars for my maternity leave.

Emma in Canada said...

Chas, I thought you would have got mat through your work. I am especially happy to live here when I think about the fact that I will not have hospital bills to pay either!

Catwoman said...

Nope, in the US, maternity leave consists of anywhere from six(six!!!! Can you imagine leaving a six week-old behind????) to 12 weeks completely unpaid.

And I totally know what you mean about not imagining being apart from your baby if it was in NICU somewhere! My baby was born during the hurricane Katrina aftermath and I remember seeing stories of mothers who didn't know where their babies had been taken to and one mother refusing to leave her newborn very premature baby's side and choosing to ride out the hurricane in the hospital with him. I totally understood that mother and could not understant the mothers who just walked out of New Orleans without their babies. I would have stayed behind and risked my life never having accepted to leave my baby behind.

The end of pregnancy SUCKS! You're uncomfortable all the time and I remember not being able to sleep and getting so irritated at everyone who'd give me advice like "try to sleep in the recliner." I wanted to snap back at them "I'm not retarded, you think I haven't tried that at 3 a.m.???" And then the last week when I was so sick and felt like I was dying (which I was since my liver was shutting down and I didn't know it) and I'd mildly complain about being so tired and in pain and people would say "oh, it's only 10 days to your due date, it'll go fast!" I wanted to kill those bastards. 10 days when you're uncomfortable or in pain is an eternity. And they should just shut their mouth rather than make feeble attempts at making you feel better.

So you bitch all you want woman! I remember what it's like. And if there's someplace you can whine without receiving stupidity in return, it's your own blog. So vent! :)